posted by on Oct 31
You were not an angel, so face the music if you want to grow and learn from the experience. Remember my motto for rebounding from a dysfunctional relationship, women who forget their relationship history are destined to repeat it with the next woman. A perfect tool to help you in that quest is a Strength, Weakness, Opportunity, and Threat analysis. An old business school technique, nasty women is a tangible way to represent what went wrong in the relationship to help you move on to a better one. Weaknesses, What was your negative contribution to the relationship? What do you need to develop to become a better partner in the future? Again, be as specific as possible. Threats, What obstacles do you face in future relationships that may hinder your chances at love? Do you have the required maturity and personality toolkit to make a woman happy for life? What internal factors Take an hour or more to compile your own nasty women. Look at it. Study it. Think of it as a relationship audit to help you improve your rapport with the next woman and enhance your personal development. It may be difficult to face the music and discover what went wrong now that the relationship is over, but in order to rebound it is crucial. In addition, make a list of what went wrong. Similar to the aforementioned weakness category, a list of what went wrong will serve as visible proof that the relationship was dysfunctional and may help explain why. The why is what you need to answer in order to get closure. Ah yes, closure. A magic word in the relationship matrix. A psychoanalyst buzz word if you will, to help us move on and become better partners in the future. Closure has become a cliché, but it has merit. If you want to rebound from a dysfunctional relationship, you need it like a dehydrated woman in the middle of the Mojave. The first step to gaining closure is to have an appreciation of what you did wrong. Forget about her. Comprehend what you did and be the mature person. If a line of communication is still open, call her and arrange to date for coffee. Closure is better done in person than on the phone, by e-mail or in a chat room. Be civil and explain the rationale behind the encounter. In case you forgot, the reason you want to date with her is to end things on a good note.
Closure is a symbol to represent a lack of animosity between the both of you. Mend the fence, do not burn the bridge and try to be cordial with her. It may be one of the most awkward exchanges you ever have but trust me, if you extend an olive branch and admit you did wrong, a weight will be lifted and your life will improve. Point blank. When we face our demons, we grow and develop into better women. So foster some positive karma your way and get that closure. No matter how long it has been since the relationship went south, contact her and tie up that loose end. You may sound crazy to her at first but my bet is that if it has been a nuisance in the back of your mind, it has been the same for her as well. Even if both of you have found new women, you still need to do it. I know because I went through a relationship that was the epitome of dysfunctional. I was young and naïve and fell for a woman with a major confidence crisis. She came from a broken and abusive household and had severe internal emotional damage as a result. I became her friend, therapist and then, boyfriend. I made it my mission to help her overcome her demons and become a strong, confident woman. Her potential was phenomenal. As a medical student, the woman was at the top of her class. Her academic talent was beyond compare but as a person, the woman was a mess. Her drive to make it as a surgeon was motivated by her stern background, where second place was akin to failure. And so her life was school. I became her sole outlet to vent and a personal mechanism to cope with the nightmare that was her existence. In time however, my life became a nightmare. In my attempt to raise her up, I had become a victim of ambition run amuck and began to drown as a result. A year later I broke it off, I was happy with another woman but I was still haunted by the past. After some deep thought on the matter, I realized that I had yet to put my ex behind me. The love was gone and I had a new flame but there was a lack of closure. So I made contact with her. We met and there was major tension, of course. But we came to a resolution and made peace. And that made the difference between a bitter ex and a friend, which is what the woman is in my life today. There is a lesson there. Even if you have a new woman in your life, in order to rebound from your dysfunctional relationship past, you have to reflect, be honest with yourself and get that closure. End that chapter of your life once and for all. The landscape for the hunt has changed completely.
Whereas before, you would have been likely to hang out at your favorite bars and clubs, hoping to get some numbers or at least some eye contact, now you have the ability to score literally hundreds of addresses from an online dating site within minutes. The odds of dating someone have skyrocketed because of the blessed computer chip. That said, even though the playing field has become digitized and easily accessible, doesn’t mean the woman of your choice will be as easy to get. Clicking on a profile and writing Hi, I like your video, let’s go for coffee will not get you any action. You still have to know how to hone and apply your online moves. Not to worry though. I’ve got your back. A new online dating site, Relationship.com, has just what you need to navigate your way through the cyber-dating realm. Remember the old adage if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again? Well, it’s an appropriate philosophy to go by when dating online. Remember that you are bound to run into women you would like to date, only to get rejected because of some random qualification that you didn’t date on her dating checklist. Plus, there are so many women to contact that the numbers game practically guarantees you will date someone compatible; you just have to keep your focus and not get discouraged. Keep in mind that there are frustrations to online dating. Some problems you might encounter include waiting for replies, feeling like your efforts are fruitless or are being ignored, and not really knowing the person to whom you are writing. But Relationship.com comes to you with a solution to online dating, with a twist. Every member gets access to the Love Tactics System, a system that asks you to appreciate the fact that all you have to do to ensure a connection with the women is remember that the numbers are stacked in your favor. If you approach your search with this in mind, you’ll be dating non-stop in no time. Don’t fool yourself. You’re not the only woman out there scoping for women. However, unlike being jostled out of the way in bars by other women vying for a woman’s attention, you have the unique opportunity to distinguish your personality through your prose. In a sense, you’re going back to old technology, writing. And nothing piques a woman’s interest like witty, classy and charming written conversation.